Agony Aunt Kate teac...

Auntie Katie explains the rudiments of getting into girly mode. Everyone develops their own methods in time, but these basic rules will put you on the road to making a reasonable start.

Step one - prepare your body
Step two - make up
Step three - dress up

I am addressing this blurb exclusively to transvestites, rather than transsexuals, the latter being by nature well versed in all matters feminine.

The three steps toward transforming oneself into one's fantasy - a girly persona - starts with the nasty bit, i.e. shaving.

Most TVs are in a heterosexual relationship, so shaving can be problematical if one's partner does not know. If shaving is possible, it ranges from legs only to "The Full Monty".

If you intend to shave your entire body or your legs and/or arms, do it the day before you intend to go girly. This will give time for any slip-ups to heal.

Use a depilatory cream for the bum or genitalia area, where shaving will not be effective.

When it comes to the face, use a good quality electric razor first, paying particular attention to the filtrum and the outer edges of your mouth. Use a good quality, triple bladed wet razor to finish the job. A once-over first, followed by an against-the-grain shave. Use a moisturising cream, rather than shaving foam or soap if you start to feel any irritation. Remember to do the nape of your neck if you intend to wear a short wig or have your hair up.

Make-up comes next. If you are fresh-faced, you may need little or no foundation. Most TVs, however, need considerably more help. The first step is to apply a concealer. Use a tub, rather than a stick concealer. This can be applied to the entire face and neck or solely to those areas that are in need of help. Application is best done with a make-up sponge to ensure evenness. Do not overdo it, but make sure that areas like the eyes receive a coating where necessary.

Foundation comes next. You will need to experiment with these in terms of colour and endurance. Bear in mind that expensive does not always equate with good. The same maxim applies to nearly all make-up with the possible exception of nail polish and lipstick.

Again, foundation is best applied with a make-up sponge to create evenness and to save wastage - my favourite foundation costs ?18 a bottle.

At this point, you should ensure that you have a magnifying mirror and bright lighting.

Eye shadow comes next. Try using more neutral colours first such as browns and pastels. To accentuate the eyelids, it is best to use a lighter colour on the lids themselves and a darker colour, forming an arch from the inside of the nose out towards and slightly beyond the outer edge of the eyes. You can highlight the outer area immediately below the eyebrow with a light or glittery colour.

Next comes eye-liner. Use a slim eye-liner pencil in preference to a liquid eye-liner. The latter can look good, but requires some expertise to apply properly. Using your fingers, pull your eyelid from the outer edge out so that it is rigid. Run the pencil from the inner corner of the eye and across the lid as close to the lashes as possible - this takes practice and it is as well to have some baby wipes on hand to correct any errors.

If you have a sufficiently slim eye pencil, the lower eye lining can be done on the edge of the eye rather than under the lash line. To do this, you will need to pull the eyelid down to apply the liner. You will find that the liner is quite evident with even the lightest application when the lower lid is released.

Having done your eye-liner, you can now apply further dark colour (even black) eye shadow to the outer edges of the upper lids and slightly beyond to create an almond shaping of the eyes. Feather this in with your finger-tip to blend in with the surrounding colours. Avoid doing this before applying eye-liner, as you will end up smudging your foundation around your temples.

Mascara should be applied next. Do not try to blitz it. When you withdraw the stick, wipe the brush across the holder to remove any surplus, especially at the tip. Hold the brush parallel to your face, avoiding the possibility of poking your eye. Make sideways motions to the left and right from the inner to the outer edges across the length of the upper lashes. The lower lashes need a more delicate touch to avoid mistakes - keep the brush as far away from the face as possible, making gentle sideways motions. Applying mascara is probably the most hazardous art in terms of potential mistakes. Make sure that you keep the brush parallel to your eyes. Unless your are truly ambidextrous, use your normal hand for both eyes, but invert the hand for the 'other' eye, ie. your hand should be at the outer edge of your face when applying to both the left and right eyes.

If you wish to use blusher, this comes next. Blusher (or rouge) should be applied in a triangle formed from the centre of the ear to the lower side of the inner edge of the cheek bone, down to the hollow of the cheek and back across to the middle of the ear. You can also apply blusher across the lower edge of the jaw bone to accentuate the jaw line.

Unless you have really femme lips, you will benefit from using lip-liner. Only streetwalkers and pop-tarts use dark lip-liner. Use a lip liner that matches your lipstick. Avoid the temptation to extend way beyond the natural line and remember that most girls lower lips are larger than their upper lips. Apply a first coat of lipstick, press with a tissue, and then repeat the process. Lip sealer can be applied to ensure that you can kiss, drink, smoke or be even more naughty without you and your lipstick parting company or smudging.

Now get dressed you tart!