What I am looking for:
A very very rich old man, must have dicky ticker and no dependants.
About Me: Rather than maintain this veneer of mystery about myself. I've decided it's time to spill all the beans....
I was a premature baby - my father wasn't expecting me. Mind you, I was so big that the midwife refused to slap me. I'm just glad I wasn't born in Russia - I can't speak Russian. Like I said, I was quite big; in fact one of my hands measured 9 inches. 3 more inches and it would have been a foot.
My mother keeps telling me I used to be a twin because she has a picture of me when I was 2.
As a child, I was so bad that my parents pleaded with me to leave home. I didn't like school, because I couldn't read or write and the teachers wouldn't let me talk.
My salvation were my pets though, a zebra called Spot, and several goldfish, sadly all of whom mysteriously drowned. I also had a cat, which I successfully taught maths: I asked it what 2 minus 2 was, and he said nothing. We used to have a dog called photographer because he was always snapping at people.
My parents tried to help me. My dad told me everything about the birds and the bees, but I had to find out about boys for myself. One day he asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I said "a soldier", so he picked me up, turned me upside down and dipped me in his boiled egg.
I left school with no qualifications, and had trouble finding a job. I worked in a theatre, but lost my voice. It must have been all that shouting "ice creams, popcorn" After that, I became a bus driver, because I liked telling people where to get off. I gave that up and became a travel agent because I enjoyed telling people where to go.
Never managing to keep a job for long, I tried to become an inventor. My first patent was a square bathtub so you didn't get a ring. After that, I developed a remedy which cures a disease for which there are no symptoms. I gave up after appearing on Dragons Den and being disappointed because none of them would give me any money towards my last invention - an electric toaster which you put in your mattress so you can pop out of bed in the morning.
As for love, it always managed to elude me. I've been stood up more times than a bowling pin. And then, one day we met in the travel agents. He was looking for a holiday and I was the last resort. His name was Al Ladin and we had a fairy-tale romance. But it all happened so fast, too fast. I was naive when I asked him the best way to preserve a wedding ring, He replied: "dip it in dishwater three times a day". I started to get a series of 24-hour viruses coincidentally when my mother-in-law visited for the day. We were sitting in a bar when a customer asked the barman for something tall, cold and full of scotch. Before I could stop myself, I shouted "you want my husband"? and that was the final straw, also the final little umbrella and the final pieces of fruit floating in the martini glass.
My health suffered as a result of the split. I'm so paranoid that I won't go to the hairdressers now because I'm convinced she talks behind my back. I went to a psychiatrist who didn't cure all of my problems, but he lumped all my nagging doubts into one big complex. He did cure me of my drink problem though - after paying his weekly bill, I couldn't afford to drink.
What remains is the person you see before you. A sad case. No hobbies, although I do collect echoes. And because I don't work, I have become a mental tourist - my mind wanders.
As for the future, well, I've decided I want to die with my boots on:- 1) because my stockings have holes, and 2) so it doesn't hurt when I kick the bucket.
I'll never forget the day I was born - I cried like a baby. I was so hairy that my parents didn't know whether to buy a cot or a cage. My grandfather, a lawyer, looked at me in the hospital and said "I object". In fact, I was a twin, my brother and I were womb mates. When I was born, I also had six other brothers, aged 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 and 1, and all, coincidentally born on January 10th. My dad was a precision grinder.
As a child, I would feel unloved. My mum kept putting a plastic bag over my head, but when Social Services called, she told them she was only keeping my head fresh.
It was a difficult childhood, but my folks did buy us a sausage dog so we could all pet him at the same time. We called him Rolex. He was a watchdog. The difficulties extended to school, where I won a prize for playing truant. I was always bringing home notes from the teacher, who wanted reasons for my presence. They accused me of using foul language because I'd walk around clucking.
In an effort to integrate, I joined the marching band at school. It was difficult hauling a grand piano through the streets, but I managed it. I remember coming home one day with 2 sofas, 4 chairs and a footstool, but then I never could resist taking suites from strangers.
I was very naive. I asked my dad "what is sex"? He spent two hours explaining things, drawing diagrams etc. Then I said to him: "Mum told me to tell you that dinner would be a couple of secs".
My teenage years were no better. My brothers were cruel. They used to call me Spider-girl because I couldn't get out of the bath. Mind you, I was afraid of nothing except a pile of dirty dishes.
Eventually, I met the man who was to become my husband. We met in a revolving door, and went round for a while. Our wedding was memorable: I went up the aisle wearing rollers because I wanted to look nice for the reception. We looked like a new house - I was freshly painted and he was plastered. My father-in-law requested that a collection plate was passed round at the ceremony.
I loved him so much. I worshipped the ground his father struck oil on. We were close for a while. We used to go everywhere together but only because he hated to kiss me goodbye. It was doomed to failure though we never had to buy an encyclopaedia because he knew everything. But I always knew I was smarter than him - I would always have a pork chop dinner ready when he returned from fishing trips.
After that, we led a quiet life. I didn't speak to him and he didn't speak to me. I tried to be a model wife, but unfortunately I wasn't a working model.
The end came when we went on a 'make-or-break' holiday. The porter asked if he could carry the bag, and he said "no, let her walk".
But seriously folks ................
Mature cuddly pre-op TS - helpful, honest and genuine. I am a moderator in the chat-room and am always there to help with any problems you may occur. Will gladly talk in private providing you ask me in the main room first.
Am still a SINBAD at heart (Single Income No Boyfriend And Desperate).
Always willing to meet others for - initially a cuppa and a chat, and then who knows where it will lead.
Have just started out on that long journey. Now thirty four months into my new identity and things going really well, have full support from my family and friends, everyone happy with my progress. Making new friends when venturing out to sample the famous Pocklington nightlife (LOL). Further updates will follow.
If you cant be bothered to fill in your profile then I can`t be bothered with you.
*WARNING: Any institutions or individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for studies or projects - You DO NOT have permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current and future. If you have or do, it will be considered a violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications. It is recommended that other members post a similar notice to this or you may copy and paste this one.
ORDER CANCELLATION - Thank you for your recent order from our sex shop. You asked for the large red vibrator as featured on our wall display..... Please re-select Thats Our Fire Extinguisher
If God was a woman then sperm would taste of chocolate.
I don`t do cyber, cam or phone so don`t ask.
Was invited to join Facebook and am at present still trying to get to grips with it - if you want to add me as a friend feel free - http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=667329655
Latest News!:
Update, now setting wheels in motion to obtain my Gender Recognition Certificate and I know this is a long shot but are any of you the judge that granted my decree absolute some 30 years ago, if so get in touch I need a copy.
20th October 2009 - Final assessment at Leeds Gender Clinic, have been referred to see hormone doctor, appointment should be in 6 - 12 weeks. Also booked into voice classes.
Ist September 2009 - Karen has been full time two years today
5th August 2009 - Second appointment with Leeds Gender Clinic.
17th June 2009 - First assessment appointment with the Leeds Gender Identity Service at Seacroft Hospital, Leeds.
4th June 2009 - Voted for the first time as Karen (only the Euro Election but hey the General one is not far off)
6th March 2009 - Eighteen months into life`s new journey, slight set-back when job came to an end. My fixed 12 month contract ended and due to current climate was not renewed. Still thinking positive and looking once again, at least Karen now has something on her CV.
Following a really great New Year spent with some really good friends I have just received notification that my GP has referred me to the North Yorkshire PCT waiting list with Leeds Gender Identity Service (their aim is to see me within 18 weeks, so watch this space for further details).
26th September - Finally got the appointment with the Psychologist
1st September - Karen celebrates one year full time today.
6th March - Karen starts her first ever job, it may only be part-time, but it is the start. Its a tough job, sitting there doing my nails, touching up my make up etc - but hell someone`s gotta do it
Wow 2008 started great, New Year in Birmingham and just back from first visit of the year to Manchester. Will be back in Manchester in February and already booked for five days for Sparkle.
Christmas - Yes will be alone again (for the 5th year) but as always will be cooking full lunch (and without help of any short-cuts). This will be first Christmas that all prezzies will be for Karen (big grin). To all my friends here have yourselves a great day and hopefully a very prosperous New Year.
Three months into my new journey and things are really great, next step is back to the psychologist (hopefully early in new year).
New website - Would like to express my sincere thanks and gratitude to Katie for her time and all her hard work in creating and setting up the new website - why not visit it and leave me a message in my guest-book. (Currently this is off-line)
Thanks to everyone that made the weekend of Kevin`s birthday bash a great one in Manchester. If I didn`t get to say hi in person then I apologize.
Also thanks to Charlotte and everyone at Les Femmes in Sheffield - I promised to return and I did, will be back again real soon.
Star Sign: Virgo
Suggested Kinky Places:
Napoleons
Things I like:
"Yes, you can take me shopping and pay for everything!
It`s every girl`s dream isn`t it? To spend other people`s money on themselves.
I`d just love to have you there to hand over your cash, cheque or cards to pay for all the things I want to buy for ME and then have you carry it all.
And no, you aint getting in my knickers as a return!!"
Shoes (n)
[shoooz} Apparel worn on feet; of particular interest to women; often found in HUGE piles at bottom of wardrobes. Brought to compliment purchase of new outfit/handbag/purse. In various styles, colours, heel heights all of which are completely necessary and should never be questioned; known to cause blisters and extreme discomfort but hey if they look good who cares!!!! [see also shoe-aholic; no known cure.]
Mr Kipling Cakes.
Shopping.
Manchester.
My many friends (love you all).
"Only a man can be the kind of woman a man wants a woman to be."
"Sex is what`s between the legs, and gender is what`s between the ears."
JS Bach`s "Air on a G-String" - one of my favourite thongs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uwOL4rB-go
Things I dislike:
Paris Hilton
Airheads with half a brain cell (oops sorry that's Paris Hilton again)
Hairy Pantie Wearers
Timewasters
Last Edited:24-Aug-2010
